Men and women have very different personalities. A major thing that nurtures disappointments in relationships is the desire of women to change their men. Women want men to change while men usually want the very same girl that they had at the beginning of the relationship. The irony, however, is that men are seen complaining that women change while women are seen complaining that men don’t change. Why do women love to change their men is a big question. This is not only the case of relationships; it is true even at the workplace and in fact, wherever men and women are supposed to stay together.
Why should I change?
Most women complain that society always expects women to change and fashion themselves according to men. This concept has generated feelings of insecurity and inferiority among women. They tend to change their men because they don’t want to be the only one who compromises and changes in order to keep the relationship going.
It is always told that women enter relationships with unrealistic ideas but this isn’t the case with all women. Sometimes their desire to change their men is genuine and necessary. A decent, composed and strong woman won’t start a relationship with unrealistic ideas; still, she might want to change her man because of his habits/traits she cannot deal with. In this scenario, if a man truly loves his girl he will definitely change for her. If a man is truly positive that he cannot change and that she has to accept him as he is then it’s time for her to leave and move on.
The perfect man picture!
The realization that the man she loves is not the one she thought he was, is the driving force behind why women love to change their men. They create a picture in their mind where the guy they love is beautiful, charming, hilarious, doesn’t smoke, is decent and all. When that picture seems unreal and their expectations are not met, they do all they can to make their man as close to that picture as possible. It is true that expectations hurt; it is also true that expecting a lot takes away the peace in the relationship.
To have supremacy
Well, it is true that some women are bossy but this is not very common. Bossy women would try to change their men only to have control of the relationship. Such relationships don’t last long. This is a negative thing and a good relationship is the one in which no one is trying to control the other person. The control freaks would interrupt their partner even if he is not doing anything wrong. Naturally, a man will try to defend himself and this will create restlessness and problems in the relationship. Not to mention, this idea of having control of the relationship works if the man has an inferiority complex and wants to be fixed. But this is a very bad idea.
You promised to do certain things
When you are dating you make a lot of promises and commitments. If you told her you will start working out after marriage then you should start working out and if you don’t, it is her fair right to nag you. If the promises you make are not fulfilled then your girl will definitely try to make you the person you promised you will be.
Because she loves you!
Women are not always selfish. It is not that she will always try to change you only for her sake. “If you love me accept me the way I am” actually lacks empathy. The true version should be, “If you love me make me a better person”. One of the reasons why women love to change their men is because they love them. She tries to change you for your own good; in order to make you a lot better than who you were before she came in your life.
For the children
‘I accept you the way you are. I really love you but I want our children to have a better dad. Don’t change for me, I only tell you to change for our children’. This is another reason why nagging begins in the relationship or to be precise, in a marriage. In fact, this is not a wrong approach; a father should be a perfect example for his children and if he is not, his wife should help him in becoming one.
A sense of accomplishment
This one is the answer to the question ‘Why do good girls like bad boys?’ This is also one of the reasons why do women love to change their men. turning a bad boy into a good boy is a big thing. Some women take it as a challenge and change their men in order to have a sense of accomplishment. This is good only if done with care and empathy.
To keep the relationship going
Sometimes the person you love becomes unbearable and in order to continue the relationship, he must change. if a woman truly loves a man, she would keep the relationship going by hook or by crook. In such a situation it is necessary for her to change his man and keep the relationship alive.
1. To be treated fairly
Women want equality, whether it is the workplace, marriage or just a romantic relationship. The need to be treated fairly causes women to change men. They want men to see their potential and consider them as equal. If a woman experiences discrimination in the workplace just because she is a woman, she will definitely do all she can to change that mentality.
Change in a relationship is healthy. If a person changes for his partner it means that he really cares and wants to satisfy his mate. Why do women love to change their men is simply because they want a better partner but they should not be reluctant to apply it to them as well. It should always be a two-way street. Only trying to change your partner and not changing yourself destroys relationships. Both should compromise and both should always strive to keep the other person happy.